Sunday, March 6, 2011

Microsoft Redefines Family Friendly

With the Xbox Kinect it's hard to not at least come up with one dirty joke about what all one could get up to in front of a motion sensor. (And before you think the immature denizens of this household are the only ones to do so you ought to see this.) But, sadly, Microsoft has put the kibosh on any such notion. I love their reasoning:

"Xbox is a family friendly games and entertainment console and does not allow Adults Only (AO) content to be certified for use on its platform, and would not condone this type of game for Kinect."

For funsies, let's take a look at some of the family friendly things you can do in games the Xbox console supports:

1. In hell, remove heads from babies who have scythes for arms. (Dante's Inferno)

2. Hire a prostitute, patronize said prostitute, kill prostitute in order to retrieve payment for services rendered. (Grand Theft Auto 4)

3. Detonate nuclear device in order to kill all residents in one town for personal gain. (Fallout 3)

4. Marry individual, lead trusting individual to alter for sacrifice. (Fable 2

But, says Microsoft, we will have none of this sex you speak of. Clearly this is not a family friendly activity. And while we're here, where do babies come from?

1 comment:

  1. Looking over your list out of context, it seems like video games are trying to perpetrate the downfall of civilization.

    Of course, even within context Grand Theft Auto is a pretty screwed up game...