Dr M and I are sports fans and so we often find ourselves discussing various aspects of the sporting community. Over the last year or so we discovered a business opportunity via our observations. To wit:
Have you ever noticed how a young athlete can rocket right to the tip top of the game in a very short time and, to review, at a very young age? Have you ever noticed that athletes make way more than us regular citizens and so it's very likely that new athletes have just received a massive pay raise? Well, if so, then you've probably noticed that they don't always handle it very well. And besides the instacash, many athletes don't seem to understand that their earning potential tends to decrease with age rather than increase as is typical in most professions. All these things combine at an event horizon that can either launch an athlete into fiscal security or tip our young athletes into early bankruptcy with no thought to retirement accounts and the like. And let's be honest, many athletes have an entourage that is not exactly looking out for their best interests.
Enter Posse For Hire!
We at Posse For Hire understand that the newly rich and famous have specific needs for lifestyle and image maintenance. Let us assume the worry and responsibility for said maintenance by providing you with a professionally trained entourage. Our Posses (comprised of 2 to 20 individuals) can be specifically tailored to your needs. For example, if you are the kind of athlete that likes to have a good time in your off time then your crew can be outfitted with driver(s), wing(wo)men, bodyguard(s), personal assistant(s), and event planner(s).
Each Posse is assembled on a case by case basis with your individual needs as the starting point for your Posse. After your initial interview, Posse For Hire will provide you with our state of the art, scientifically rigorous profile so that you will understand how your Posse was formed. Any and all concerns regarding your profile will be addressed at the earliest possible time and Posses are never final. While we recommend that all clients maintain at the minimum the Newly Signed Posse (NSP includes an accountant, a life coach (life coach comes trained to identify spectacularly stupid decision making), and a business/image manager), we recognize that special circumstances may require an a la carte approach to a Posse.
Please contact Posse For Hire with any questions and to request a catalog for details on all possible Posse members.
I absolutely believe that this is one of the greatest ideas ever. Are you an athlete that struggles with his weight? Bam, one of the guys in your hand-picked entourage will be an outstanding chef who specializes in healthy but tasty fare. Like to hit the bar for a few brewskis? Some of your posse will act as drinking buddies while others will act as designated drivers. Thinking that a 2 AM trip to a strip club with a loaded 9mm in your pants is a good idea? Your posse is there to subtly talk you into some Playstation instead. We will absolutely identify every potential misstep that you're likely to make and will surround you with people who will help you to prevent them. Posse For Hire: The Best Friends You'll Ever Have!
ReplyDeleteOne funny and insightful post, Rachel! I can think of a few people who really need this. Fun reading. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteHey, I think you need to make it a franchise for pop/rock artists with their first #1 hit on their hands. I'm always astonished at the number of singers who declare bankruptcy after raking in millions upon millions early in their career.
Posse For Hire is, of course, interested in any and all expansion opportunities.
ReplyDeleteWhat PFH needs is a celebrity endorsement. Might I suggest LeBron James?!?!
ReplyDeleteIt may be that we'd have to get his shit sorted before actually putting it out there that he's a client. :)
ReplyDelete