Thursday, August 27, 2009

Offbeat Love

I'm a sucker for offbeat love songs. There's something about them that triggers the warm fuzzies and I just oooh and aaah and make a bit of a fool of myself. One of my favorites that's been on the playlist lately is "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus.

Her name is Noel
I have a dream about her
She rings my bell.
I got gym class in half an hour,
Oh how she rocks
In Keds and tube socks..
But she doesn't know who I am.
And she doesn't give a damn about me
Cuz I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby
Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby
Listen to Iron Maiden, baby...with me. Ooh.
Her boyfriend's a dick
He brings a gun to school
He'd simply kick my ass if he knew the truth.
He lives on my block
And drives a iRoc
And he doesn't know who I am
And he doesn't give a damn about me
cuz I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby.
Listen to Iron Maiden, baby...with me. Ooh.
Ooh yeah...dirtbag.
No she doesn't know what she's missin'.
man I feel like mold
It's prom night and I am lonely lo and behold
She's walkin' over to me this must be fake
My lip starts to shake
How does she know who I am?
Why does she give a damn about me?
I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby.
Come with me Friday, don't say maybe.
I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby...like you. ooh.
ooh yeah...dirtbag.
No she doesn't know what she's missin'.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Define Psychologically Normal (then look up passive aggressive)

Oh holy fuck!

There are no words!

Does juice counteract aging?

I'm getting old. I could look to the calendar for evidence of this but I need not. I simply have to get up. I keep finding myself immobilized after sitting in the same position for a while. I'm sitting, probably reading something on the internet (I loves me some internets), and then I get up and practically fall to the ground immediately because some part of me has become useless. It's not like in the old days (erm, young days?) when I would occasionally fall prey to a sleepy limb, no no, these are trickier times when the loss of limb use is a comlete mystery. I can't even pinpoint where the ache is coming from exactly but as I hobble around trying to make sense of it I can only assume it's because I'm getting old.

To make myself feel better I drink excellent Strawberry Orange juice.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Life of Pi Readalong

It's not too late to sign up for the Life of Pi Readalong!

Friday, August 14, 2009

A Pause

The words of William Sloane Coffin, whose son Alex died at age 24 in a car crash.

Tired of hearing well-meaning friends say, “It is the will of God,” he responded with this: “My own consolation lies in knowing that it was not the will of God that Alex die. That when the waves closed over the sinking car, God’s heart was the first to break.”

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

...teh bad and teh ugly

There wasn't really enough of teh good to include in the title but trust me, going from bad to worse is sometimes TEH BEST!

I came by this line (imagine a tongue not a dental device):

"He delved into the hidden recesses of her mouth"

and was overwhelmed by a case of the giggles. I mean, how big is this mouth? How many recesses could it have and where the bloody hell could they possibly be hidden? I had my wisdom teeth out several years ago and that left me with some recesses but they weren't hidden and I don't think anyone was going to go probing them. Weird and ew.

But then, not three paragraphs later, I read this little gem and just about died:

"His lips milked her lobe..."

His lips? milked? her lobe?

MILKED! her lobe!

Not as refreshing as a cold shower but it gets the same results. I figured this was a sign to stop reading.

Normally I would be annoyed to have wasted my time on a book but I feel my life has been enriched by this opportunity to scoff at recess probing and lobe milking. Ah, teh satisfaction!



btw, for those wondering that was an ear lobe

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Drink, Play, F@#k

Finally, a justification for the absolute shit of a book Eat, Pray, Love: a spoof!

Just moved to the top of the TBR!

hat tip: THE TOT

TV's Biggest D-Bag

I've been watching some old Ally McBeal episodes on youtube and I'm reminded of all the reasons I stopped watching the show when it was on air. But anyway, I bring this here because I can't think of a bigger douchebag than Billy. Admittedly, I don't watch a lot of TV so I am sure there are many characters that can qualify but I can't think of any character that's supposed to be sympathetic and nice but is actually the world's biggest douchebag. Can you?

I also find Ally McBeal to be a lot like Scrubs. They'd be so good if it wasn't for the main character/narrator.



ETA:
The thing about the Biggest Douchebag Ever characteristic is that he brings down the crowd. So Georgia, who is definitely cool, and Ally, who shows flashes of coolness and is sometimes funny, are completely dragged into the muck for even looking at Billy much less loving him. Billy deserves to live under shit for 5 years but his shenanigans wouldn't go anywhere if those around him weren't hit with the stupid stick every time he walks in a room. And for fuck's sake, he's not even good-looking! What were the writers thinking? This is the reason I stopped watching the show. But because I can skip over Douchebag and Ally's drama and get right to super-awesome Ling I'm trying to keep on keeping on. If I recall correctly Billy dies so there must be some justice in the show.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Images to Love

I don't know who Ubisoft uses for their marketing/graphic design but I am clearly her bitch. Commence drooling:



Just off to check out who made Hitman (video game not movie, though I like them both) because that's another one that I can't resist visually.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Quotes to Love

"Here was something perfectly familiar--a lady who ought not but very likely would."

Christian in "Flowers from the Storm" by Laura Kinsale


Oh Christian! As Bridget would say...fwaaaah!!!